On My Long Engagement (& Why I Love It)

On My Long Engagement

When J and I got engaged last September, the questions from friends and family (his side mostly, since mine were in the throws of planning my sister’s wedding and didn’t need another one) started pretty much immediately – when’s the wedding? Did you set a date? Will it be in your town or his hometown?

Oh my gosh people, give us a second to enjoy being engaged!

Honestly, it was overwhelming. And a bit rude. I know the questions weren’t meant in a rude way, but when we call you 30 minutes after that ring was put on my finger, we probably don’t have any answers to give you!

We decided on a date in October of 2018. Over 2 years away. Crazy, I know.

But let me explain why.

First: we’ve been together at this point for 9 and a half years. There’s no rush when we already live together and have a great relationship.

Second: we don’t want kids. Not that it would matter at all if we were married or not. People have kids without an official marriage all the time. But I know personally a lot of people who want to tie the knot so that they can then start making a family. We already have our fur babies, a cat and a dog, so babies are no reason for us to rush the wedding.

Third: we’re paying for the entire thing ourselves. And I want to have a nice wedding. I’m not talking anything extravagant. But I don’t want to settle on a dress I don’t love because of my budget. I don’t want to settle on a less than ideal venue because we can’t afford what we do want. This way we have plenty of time to put more money aside specifically for the wedding.

And fourth: I just want to enjoy being engaged and enjoy planning! We have our reception venue booked, and hopefully our ceremony location soon. Then we can just sit back and relax for a while! I was never that little girl who daydreamed about her wedding. So I’m starting from scratch. I don’t know exactly what a want, and not jumping immediately into the whirlwind of wedding planning is just what I needed. I get to relax with wine and read wedding mags, and not get stressed out about decisions.

I know plenty of couples who got engaged and then married within a year, and that’s great for them. But I am so happy to get to really enjoy wedding planning and take it slower. To each bride her own, I guess!


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